Akathist of Repentance for Women Who Have Slain Their Infants in the Womb (for Reading at Home)

O Lamb of God, who takest away the sins of the world, hear my lamentation and hearken to the grief of my heart; take away the heavy burden of my sins, Thou who didst bear the infirmities of men; receive me who fall down before Thee in repentance, entreating and crying from the depth of my heart: My Lord, O Lord, my joy, have mercy on me, the fallen one.

O God and Lord! I am the work of Thy hands, but woe is me, for the delusion of Adam, who was fashioned in paradise, is in my soul and body, and I serve it like a slave; but now I entreat Thee:

Have mercy on me, O Creator of what is above the world; have mercy on me, O Creator of the earth; have mercy on me, O Lord of the heavenly powers; have mercy on me, O Ruler of all flesh; have mercy on me, O Thou who carest for all; have mercy on me, who offer Thee tears of repentance; My Lord, O Lord, my joy, have mercy on me, the fallen one.

O most merciful Lord, how shall I dare, such a sinner and so defiled, to draw near to Thee with my prayer, for I have transgressed Thy commandment spoken by Thy prophet Moses: Thou shalt not kill; but I am a murderer, and woe is me, I have become a hundredfold crueller than the viper, which for a time doth not harm its young but afterwards devoureth them; but I, pitiable one, deprived my children not only of the light of the senses but still more of the true Light, our Lord Jesus Christ, who enlighteneth through Baptism; and, seeking passing ease, I fled from bearing many children, killing the infants in my womb. Therefore, darkened by this and by many sins, I set all my hope on Thy loving-kindness and boldly cry to Thee: Alleluia.

I have disregarded the words of Thy life, O Lord, and have walked in my desires from my youth until this day; but now I cry to Thee with repentance, O Most Merciful, save me:

Have mercy on me, who was conceived in iniquities; have mercy on me, who was born in sins; have mercy on me, who have not kept Thy commandments; have mercy on me, who am deprived of Thy grace; have mercy on me, who have grown careless of my salvation; have mercy on me, who am caught in the net of the passions; My Lord, O Lord, my joy, have mercy on me, the fallen one.

Behold, how good and how pleasant it is, brethren, to dwell together and to love one another, as our Saviour commanded us; whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer; but I in wrath have surpassed all who have been born from the ages, and even murderers, whose victims differed in cause, in life and in age; but I, wretched one, cut short the life of those who had only just received it from Thee, the Giver of life; I, senseless one, mercilessly took away their life while they were still in my womb; having no fear of God, I rejected Thy will and the gift of childbearing blessed by Thee; in my self-will I snatched my sinless children out of Thy creating hands and shamelessly killed them before Thine eyes. But their lot is in Thy right hand, O Lord, and my sin is ever before me. To Thee alone I repent, and I entreat Thee, O most Blessed, direct my steps on the way of repentance, that with all repentant sinners I may sing to Thee: Alleluia.

Thou who alone knowest the infirmities of men, knowest also my falls into sin. Remember not the sins of my youth, and cleanse me from my secret faults, as I cry to Thee:

Have mercy on me, the great sinner; have mercy on me, the breaker of the divine law; have mercy on me, the transgressor of Thy covenant; have mercy on me, who have repaid Thy gifts, O King, with evil; have mercy on me in my repentance, as on the labourer of the eleventh hour; have mercy on me, the wretched slayer of my children; My Lord, O Lord, my joy, have mercy on me, the fallen one.

O Heavenly King, Giver of life, come and abide in me, who am defiled by sins, and cleanse me from every stain and save my soul, that, being saved, I may cry to Thee: Alleluia.

I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek me, Thy servant, O my God, who have strayed from Thy commandments into the ravine of the passions and of impassable self-will; save me, the unworthy one, who groan warmly to Thee with sighing, entreating and crying out:

Have mercy on me, who am weighed down by the sins of self-will; have mercy on me, who am darkened by the passions; have mercy on me, who am carried away by pride; have mercy on me, who am consumed by envy; have mercy on me, who am filled with unrighteousness; have mercy on me, Thou who desirest not the death of a sinner; have mercy on me, the wilful slayer of my children; My Lord, O Lord, my joy, have mercy on me, the fallen one.

Where Thou willest, O my almighty God, there the order of nature is overcome; overcome my sinful nature also and its power that draweth me to sins, for Thou art the Maker of all and the Creator of natures. By Thy divine grace renew a right spirit within me, cast me not away from Thy presence, and take not Thy Holy Spirit from me; and blot out the mark of a child-slayer, justly impressed upon my soul by Thy judgement laid down in the sixth commandment, “Thou shalt not kill”; and restore to me Thine eternal covenant, O Lord, broken by my sins, and restore again the former virtues driven away by sins, that I may sing to Thee without hindrance: Alleluia.

Who hath sinned as I, wretched one? What sin have I not committed, what evil have I not pictured in my soul? But with a contrite heart and with tears I come to Thee, O most merciful God, crying thus:

Have mercy on me, Thy unprofitable servant; have mercy on me, who am hardened in sins; have mercy on me, who hate my neighbour; have mercy on me, who am slothful in word and deed; have mercy on me, who am defiled in soul and body; have mercy on me, who am seared by my conscience; have mercy on me, a slayer of infants like Herod; My Lord, O Lord, my joy, have mercy on me, the fallen one.

With the radiance of Thy grace, O Lord, Giver of light, make bright the garment of my soul and save me, that I may sing to Thee with joy: Alleluia.

My transgressions, O Christ, are more than a multitude, and my life is the darkness of night; but I trust in Thy mercy, my Deliverer, and like David I sing to Thee:

Have mercy on me, who have spent all my life in sloth; have mercy on me, who entreat Thee unceasingly because of my sins; have mercy on me, who am ungrateful for Thy good admonitions that lead to repentance; have mercy on me, who have disregarded Thy law and broken Thy commandments; have mercy on me, who have loved this world and the things that are in it; have mercy on me, who have been enslaved to the vanities of this world; have mercy on me, who looked to the commandments of this world, scorned Thy blessing upon childbearing and committed the slaying of my children; My Lord, O Lord, my joy, have mercy on me, the fallen one.

I lift up mine eyes to heaven, to Thee, O Word of God, but my corruptible nature draweth me down to earth, O my Saviour. O Creator of heaven and earth and of all that is in them! Direct my steps towards heaven, in thought and likewise in deed, that I may victoriously sing to Thee with heart and lips thus: Alleluia.

My eye is full of guile and impurity; I am beguiled by the temptations of this world; therefore I entreat Thee, O Good One, turn away mine eyes, that they may not behold vanity, as I cry to Thee in prayer:

Have mercy on me, who thirst to serve Thee faithfully; have mercy on me, who long to worship Thee in spirit and in truth; have mercy on me, who offer Thee tears of repentance as sacrifices in place of sins; have mercy on me, who ask forgiveness for the slaying of my children; have mercy on me, who hope in Thee for deliverance from my passions; have mercy on me, who ever weep for my grievous and deadly sins; have mercy on me, a murderer, liable to divine and human judgement; My Lord, O Lord, my joy, have mercy on me, the fallen one.

Have mercy on me, O Lord my Saviour, who didst come into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the most defiled; but I entreat Thee, O my most merciful God, bow down to the mercy of Thy loving-kindness, hear my sighs, accept the fountain of my tears and the warm and spiritual prayers of my soul, O Saviour, that I may sing to Thee: Alleluia.

Like robbers, evil thoughts fell upon my slumbering conscience; woe is me, for because of my defiled sins they stripped me of my radiant garment, given me in the font; therefore I committed the slaying of infants and have remained until now empty of virtues; wherefore I dare not lift up mine eyes on high, which have been bowed down because of my sins committed before Thee, O Lord, and thus I cry to Thee:

Have mercy on me, who have committed a deadly sin; have mercy on me, who abide in sins until now; have mercy on me, who am filled with every filth; have mercy on me, who am defiled by vices against nature; have mercy on me, who kept not the purity of virginity; have mercy on me, for I have cast away from me the piety of motherhood; have mercy on me, who drove out my infant from my womb; My Lord, O Lord, my joy, have mercy on me, the fallen one.

Give me a fountain of tears, O my God, that I may weep for my sins and thus cry out rejoicing: Alleluia.

I have defiled my body with abominable secret deeds; I have darkened my soul with my countless doings; weak is my body, weak also is my soul. To Thee alone, who rememberest not evil, the merciful Judge and my God, I fall down and pray:

Have mercy on me, a murderer, for, remembering the lot of the infants killed by me, I shudder and tremble and am given over to unspeakable wonder: how Thou endurest me and dost me good, O compassionate Lord and righteous Judge, though I am worthy to dwell in hell, and until this hour Thou awaitest my repentance; have mercy on me, who have many times promised repentance and returned again to sins like a dog to its own vomit; have mercy on me, who have committed many murders; have mercy on me, for, having neither the fear of God nor a mother’s love, I tore my children apart with bestial fury; have mercy on me, for of my own will I have committed many sins; have mercy on me, who have defiled my soul with abominable desires; have mercy on me, who even until this day follow a sinful life; My Lord, O Lord, my joy, have mercy on me, the fallen one.

I have been wounded by the temptations of this world and have bowed my knees before it, choosing hatred of Thy law, which bringeth perdition; I have forgotten my vows given at the time of Baptism, and I add lawlessness to the sin which this world setteth before me; at last I have reached the summit of deadly sins, the slaying of my children; but, O God the Father, stretch out Thy hands and embrace me who flee to Thee, until I offer Thee the sacrifice of praise at the end of my life, crying: Alleluia.

Thieves, murderers, robbers and all unrepentant sinners shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But I have defiled my soul and body with every impurity and unrighteousness. Because of such wretchedness of soul I fall down before Thee and cry to Thee:

Have mercy on me, O Founder of the grace-filled kingdom in the New Covenant; have mercy on me, who was made a member of the Church founded by Thee; have mercy on me, who was sealed with the gifts of the Holy Spirit; have mercy on me, who was nourished with Thy most pure Body and life-giving Blood; have mercy on me, who was baptised into Christ and have put on Christ; have mercy on me, who have renounced all these benefits and chosen a defiled life; My Lord, O Lord, my joy, have mercy on me, the fallen one.

O Lord and Master of my life, grant me a spirit of chastity, for from my youth I have fallen short of virtue, wholly enslaved myself to the passions, defiled spirit and soul and corrupted my body. O God of great mercy and compassion! Abhor not to cleanse me, so vile a sinner, the work of Thy fingers; have mercy on me and cleanse me from every stain of flesh and spirit, and make me worthy to sing to Thee with boldness: Alleluia.

O Lord, the expectation of my heart, cast me not away who hope in Thee, and put me not to shame before angels and men at Thy righteous and dread judgement; judge me not according to my deeds, but by Thy mercy forgive my transgressions, as I cry to Thee:

Have mercy on me, who have an impure heart; have mercy on me, who am taken captive by demons; have mercy on me, who was born in sins, washed by Baptism, and again like a swine have fallen into iniquities; have mercy on me, who bear the wounds of sin in my foul soul; have mercy on me, who because of my grievous and deadly sins have fallen into despair and despondency; have mercy on me, who am defiled by every sin and liable to every punishment; have mercy on me, O my Creator, and receive me, the fallen one, in repentance; My Lord, O Lord, my joy, have mercy on me, the fallen one.

By Thy boundless love, O my God, cover the sins of my iniquity, receiving my repentance, that with love I may ever cry to Thee: Alleluia.

My youth passed in folly, and I spent all my life in sins, with carelessness and sloth towards repentance; but old age, terrified by inescapable death and by Thy judgement, hath brought me to repentance. Cast me not away from Thee, my Saviour, who have come at the eleventh hour into Thine arms, O my Father, and cry with repentance:

Have mercy on me, for the blood of my innocent children crieth out to Thee and beareth witness of my murders; have mercy on me, O God, Triune in nature; have mercy on me, O Lord, Lover of mankind, all-wondrous in Thy love for mankind; have mercy on me, O King, most long-suffering towards our transgressions; have mercy on me, O holy King, Physician of our infirmities; have mercy on me, Thou who art full of love and thereby warmest despairing sinners; have mercy on me, O Almighty, who didst take upon Thee our infirmities; My Lord, O Lord, my joy, have mercy on me, the fallen one.

The sign of the Son of Man shall appear in heaven, the all-holy and life-giving Cross of the Son of God, at the dread Second Coming to judge the living and the dead. Then shall all the tribes of the earth mourn. O Jesus Christ, our Saviour and Judge and King of all! Before that day give us tears of repentance, that with them I may blot out the evil and ruinous deeds I have done, whereby I have defiled my soul and bitterly insulted Thy most precious Blood of the New Covenant! So in that hour, with the angels and all the saints and the righteous, may I sing to Thee: Alleluia. (Thrice)

(Then Ikos 1 and Kontakion 1.)

O Master, Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God! Who by Thine ineffable goodness wast incarnate for us men and for our salvation, wast crucified and laid in the tomb, and by Thy Blood didst renew our corrupted nature, accept my repentance and hear my words: I have sinned, O Lord, against heaven and before Thee, in word, in deed, in soul and in body, and in the thoughts of my mind; I have transgressed Thy commandments and not hearkened to Thy commands; I have angered Thy goodness, O my God; but since I am Thy creation, I do not despair of my hope, but boldly approach Thy boundless loving-kindness and entreat Thee: O Lord! In the time of repentance grant me a contrite heart, receive me as I pray, and grant me good thoughts; grant me the resolve to confess my sins, and tears of compunction; O Lord, enable me to lay Thy grace as the foundation of all my good undertakings. Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, the fallen one, and remember Thy sinful handmaid in Thy kingdom, now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.

O God, most merciful Jesus Christ, Redeemer of sinners, who for the salvation of mankind didst leave the most radiant heaven and come down into this sinful vale of weeping, who didst bear our infirmities on Thy divine shoulders and take our sicknesses upon Thee; Thou, O holy Sufferer, wast wounded for our sins and tormented for our iniquities; therefore we all, O Lover of mankind, offer Thee these humble prayers: accept them, O all-good Lord, be indulgent to our infirmities, remember not our sins, and turn away from us the dread threat of vengeance for our sins. O Lord Jesus Christ, our Saviour, who by Thy most precious Blood didst renew our fallen nature, renew us also who are in the corruption of sin, and comfort our hearts with the joy of Thine all-forgiveness: with weeping and countless tears of repentance we fall down before Thy divine mercy: cleanse us all, O our God, by Thy divine grace from all the unrighteousness and iniquities of our life, that in the holiness of Thy love for mankind we may praise Thine all-holy name, together with the Father and the all-good and life-giving Spirit, now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.

Open unto us the doors of compassion, O blessed Theotokos, that hoping in thee we may not perish, but through thee be delivered from our adversaries, for thou art the salvation of the Christian race. Amen.

Rejoice, only all-holy Mother of the one and only Creator, our Lord God and Saviour Jesus Christ!

Be my intercessor on the dread day of my trial, when I stand before the throne of the impartial Judge, that I may be delivered from the wrath of fiery torment by thy prayer, O thou who alone art blessed.

(Prostration and dismissal)

O most holy Theotokos, save us!

Pray this all the days of your life.