Priest V. V. Shchukin
“I am not as other men are...” (Luke 18:11) — words that seem wholly sinless, and yet how much inner evil and moral degradation hides behind them! As a rule we do not even suspect where such a phrase leads us; alas, straight to the bottom of hell!!!
To weigh the full gravity of the Pharisaic sin of this treacherous phrase, we must consider in order, step by step, to what extremes this Pharisaic road of moral decline, full of self-exaltation (love of honour), goes.
I am not as other men are! This crafty yardstick is constantly used by Pharisaically minded people both when they really do surpass others in some merits, and even when in reality they are far worse than “other men.”
Here is a whole ladder of our Pharisaic setting of ourselves against our neighbour, on the very first rung of which we repeat exactly the words of the Pharisee in the Gospel: “I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers...” Here we compare ourselves with open evildoers and sinners, to whose level, by God's mercy, we have not yet fallen.
Than such people, doomed beforehand, we really are better; so in these words (“I am not as other men are”) a grain of truth really does show through, but it is a grain of cold, indifferent, blameworthy — in a word, Pharisaic — righteousness. It is of just such righteousness that our Saviour Jesus Christ tells us: “Except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 5:20). It would be well, however, if we stopped at this rung of ruinous Pharisaic self-justification; but no, together with the Pharisee we go down to the second rung of the feeling of our comparative superiority over others (of pride): “I am not as other men are, or even as this publican,” like some neighbour of mine.
Do you sense how much lower, morally, this rung of setting oneself against others is than the first? Here we set ourselves against people like ourselves, first of all our own acquaintances and friends. I am not like my acquaintance, who is forever drinking, nor like my colleague, who takes bribes — I do not do that; I am not like my companion, who lies all the time and whom nobody believes — I have not fallen that low. How many such phrases, or phrases like them, have we run through in our minds, if not spoken aloud. And not only are we not ashamed of it, but we take comfort and delight in them, and do not even suspect that such thoughts are full of proud self-exaltation and merciless judgement of our neighbour.
Perhaps sometimes in such judging or condemning we are even right, but this rightness is wholly swallowed up by all the falsehood of self-deception. We do not even want to hear that if in one case we surpass our neighbour in something, in ten cases we fall far behind him.
It is sad that on this rung of self-exaltation and Pharisaic judgement of our neighbour we forget the words of the Lord, or remain wholly indifferent to them: “Judge not, that ye be not judged... And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye” (Matt. 7:1–5).
Yes! First part with your own vices, and only then say that you are not like sinful men! If you manage that, then you will be the least inclined of all to say anything of the kind. A truly blameless and righteous man will never set himself above his neighbour or despise him as a sinner and unworthy. He will be held back by grace-filled Christian love and obedience, so unattainable for those who stand on the second rung of Pharisaic self-exaltation; but unhappily we go down lower still — to the third rung. To our sorrow and shame, in sins and vices we far surpass even the Pharisees of old!
I am not as other men are — even those above me in dignity and station, many of whom are more worthless and foolish than I. Even the utterly corrupt Pharisee never went as far as such senseless self-exaltation, yet with us it happens at every step. We often criticize worthy people among the eminent, because we are sure that in their place we would act much better and more wisely. We count their merits as nothing and proudly declare: I would not exchange even my vice for their merits! And if what speaks in us here is not utter frivolity, then we are dealing with a boundless love of self, for which nothing outside the frame of its narrow and pitiful personal interests is holy or worthy of respect.
For is there not left in this senseless statement even a trace of truth, if I think that even my vice surpasses the merit of the eminent? Is this not a denial of truth itself, whose source is our own envy, wilfulness and boasting?! The holy apostle James calls us to fight against this evil, unbecoming to a Christian and altogether terrible:
“But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish” (James 3:14–15).
This is where proud Pharisaic setting of ourselves against our neighbour has brought us — almost to a devilish disposition; and indeed we are serving the devil when we go down to the third rung of this ruinous assertion and declare: I am not as other men are.
On this dreadful last rung the shameless compare themselves with people as shameless as they, and claim first place among them in shamelessness. The hard-hearted man says: I am not like that one, who though wicked is helpless; expect no pity from me. The unbeliever declares: I am not like those who believe in some things and not in others — I believe in neither God nor the devil. And the profligate boasts: I am not like the others; blushing and embarrassment are strangers to me.
The gist of all this is: perhaps I am the worst of all, but at least I am not like the others, and I am proud of it! This is the end of the road! To boast and brag of evil is the very nature of the devil, and from here it is only a hand's reach to the bottom of hell!
Deliver us, O Lord, from such a dreadful fall! To boast and take pride in evil deeds and thoughts?! I do not want to believe that any of us consciously strives toward such moral corruption. And if there is anyone like that, he should tremble at the words of the prophet: “Why dost thou, O mighty man, boast of iniquity?.. thy tongue has devised unrighteousness; like a sharpened razor thou hast wrought deceit. Thou hast loved wickedness more than goodness; unrighteousness better than to speak righteousness. Thou hast loved all words of destruction, and a deceitful tongue. Therefore may God destroy thee for ever, may he pluck thee up and utterly remove thee from thy dwelling, and thy root from the land of the living” (Ps. 51:3–7).
For this the one who boasted of his evil — the devil — received his reward; the same awaits every earth-born creature infected with his satanic nature.
O! Let us fear this hopeless and dreadful lot. We must turn aside from such a fall in time, renounce Pharisaic comparison on the very first rung, and set foot on the ascending ladder of saving obedience and humility.
The notorious phrase “I am not as other men are” must be banished altogether from our lips. It is better if we say it in the opposite sense: I am not as other men are — fornicators, adulterers, heretics and others, who have overcome their sinful habits and inclinations, while I am sinking in the whirlpool of sin. They were able to repent sincerely and turned their faces toward righteousness, but I am still careless. Their hearts are full of fervent love for the Lord, but my love for God is not so sincere and true.
Truly I am not as other men are, for I am the worst of all!..
But I am as other men are, for I was conceived in sin and born in sin and I sin continually; but, O my God, be my helper, that I may lessen the multitude of my sins...
O Lord and Master! Keep us and bless us on the path of a truly Christian life.
Riga, 1911. Translated from Russian (into Georgian) by Tamaz Kharaishvili
