Schema-abbot Savva (Ostapenko)

Pride is a terrible spiritual disease, very hard to cure. There is no sin more abominable before God. The holy fathers call it “the seed of Satan.”

Pride is extreme self-assurance. It is the rejection of everything that is not mine, the source of anger, harshness, irritability and malice, the refusal of God's help. But it is precisely the proud man who has special need of God, for people cannot save him when the disease reaches its last stage.

The inventor of sin, the fallen evil angel, himself sinned by opposing God, that is, by pride, and he draws the whole human race into this ruinous sin.

Every sinner who gratifies his passions is fighting against God, as Satan once rebelled in heaven against God, in order to escape from His rule and live by his own will.

When a man who is proud, vainglorious, self-loving, glory-loving, power-loving, cruel, wrathful, envious, haughty, arrogant, disobedient and the like cannot satisfy his passions and destroys others for the sake of his own “I,” he is as it were taking up the sword against God, and seems to say to Christ: “We do not want to follow Thy example, we do not want to be meek and kind! We do not like Thy law!.. Let them serve us, and not we them!”

Deliver us, O God, from such darkening of the mind! How terrible! Do not think there is any exaggeration in these words. This is usually what happens to the proud... and if they do not stop in time, do not repent, they become fighters against God.

For every sin, even a small one, the grace of God in the soul diminishes, and through mortal sin people lose it altogether and become deserving of eternal punishment. The proud withdraw from under the authority of God's law, and so they themselves remove themselves from God's protection. They fail in everything. While still in the body they are already spiritually dead, and even in this life they suffer the torments of hell: loneliness, gloomy sadness (despondency), grief, bitterness, hatred, barrenness, darkness and despair.

The sin of pride has several stages of development. But it begins with vainglory.

The symptoms of vainglory are: the desire for praise; intolerance of reproof, admonition and rebuke; jealousy; remembrance of wrongs; judging others; difficulty in asking forgiveness; looking for easy ways; constant play-acting in the presence of others, as on a stage, in order to show oneself to people from the noble side, while carefully hiding one's passions and failings.

A man no longer sees his sins, does not notice his failings, belittles or denies altogether the wrongs he has done, sometimes even blames them on others; he exaggerates his knowledge, experience, abilities and virtues. As the disease develops, his idea of himself grows and reaches grandeur. That is why this disease is also called megalomania — the mania of grandeur.

In this state a man not only judges others but hates and despises them, even does them evil. Deliver us from this, O God!

And when it seems to the sick man that no one understands or loves him, that he is even persecuted and people are trying to do him harm, then the disease is already called persecution mania.

The mania of grandeur and the mania of persecution are the most widespread forms of the disease. These diseases are bound up with an inflated estimate of oneself, when an exaggerated sense of one's own worth gives birth to hatred and hostility toward people.

The proud man is always dissatisfied with the people around him and with the conditions of his life, and so he often goes as far as despair, as blasphemy against God, as the state of spiritual delusion, and sometimes even as suicide.

It is rather difficult to recognize pride in its initial stage. Only an experienced spiritual father, or a psychologist, can identify this passion without error.

A man seems to behave normally, but an experienced eye notices in him the beginning of the disease. He is pleased with himself... he is in a good mood, he sings, smiles, often laughs loudly and guffaws for no reason; he wants to be original, makes witticisms, arranges receptions and parties of various kinds to draw the attention of those around him; he loves to talk a great deal, and “I” sounds endlessly in his conversation; but as soon as he hears a single word of reproach his mood quickly changes and he becomes lifeless and listless, while at a word of praise he at once revives. But on the whole, at this stage, his mood is bright.

Later on, if the man does not become aware of his sinfulness, does not repent and amend, the disease grows and becomes acute.

A sincere conviction of his superiority over others arises in him. This self-assurance quickly grows into the passion of domineering; he disposes of other people's attention, time and strength as he sees fit; he becomes impudent and brazen: he takes everything upon himself even when he spoils the work. He meddles in everyone's affairs, even in other people's families.

At this stage the proud man's mood deteriorates, because he often meets opposition from those around him. In time he becomes more and more irritable, stubborn, grumbling and unbearable to everyone. Naturally people avoid him, but he is convinced he is right and thinks that simply no one wants to understand him, and so he breaks off relations with everyone. Malice and hatred make their nest and grow firm in his heart. The soul becomes dark and cold, the mind grows dim, and the man becomes utterly unruly. His aim is to get his own opinion accepted, to belittle others and to prove his “rightness.” It is just such proud men who later create schisms and heresies.

At the next stage of the disease a man breaks off relations with God as well. Everything he has, including his abilities and even certain virtues, he ascribes to himself. He is sure that he will arrange his life himself without anyone's help and obtain everything he needs by his own efforts. Even when his health is weak he imagines himself a giant. He thinks himself wiser and more knowledgeable than others and prides himself on everything he has. His prayer becomes insincere, cold, empty of contrition of heart, and later he stops praying altogether. His spiritual state becomes unimaginably gloomy and lightless, and yet he is sure that his path is right, and he hurries on toward perdition.

To the question “How can one recognize pride in oneself?” Archbishop Jacob of Nizhny Novgorod writes thus:

“You can tell it when those around you do something not according to your wish. If you feel no desire to put right humbly a mistake you have made, but are displeased and angry, then know that you are very proud; if even small failures in the affairs of your life cause you sorrow, heaviness and sadness, so that even the thought of divine Providence (which governs your affairs) does not gladden you, then know that you are very proud; if the failures of others, even of your enemies, gladden you, and the sudden successes of those close to you grieve you, know that you are very proud; if gentle remarks about your failings offend you, while praise of non-existent merits gladdens and delights you, know that you are very proud.”

What can be added to these signs for recognizing pride in oneself? Only this: that if a man is overtaken by a feeling of fear, this too is a sign of pride.

St John of the Ladder writes of this: “A proud soul is the slave of fearfulness; trusting in itself, it is afraid of the slightest noise and of shadows. The fearful often lose their minds, and justly so; for God forsakes the proud, to teach others also not to be proud.”

He writes as well that “the utmost pride is when a man, for the sake of glory, hypocritically displays in himself virtues that he does not have.”

Human nature inclines both to good and to bad. It is ready to receive both good and evil, both the grace of God and the evil power.

God does not force man's free will, does not compel him to do good, but only gently points to His own existence and calls him to the path of salvation. And the soul by its own will and inclination makes its choice: either to live with God according to His holy will, or by its own will, without thinking of the consequences.

About people who live only by their own will and satisfy their passions there is no need to say much, for self-will is a hellish seed that leads the soul into torment. But with people who try to know God's will and to obey it one can, and should, talk a great deal, in order to help them in this God-pleasing work.

Do not think that pride is the kind of passion and spiritual illness that produces physiological and pathological changes in the human organism and is therefore peculiar only to some. It may be said that the whole of mankind is sick with this sin; the only exceptions are the few who are truly humble. But the disease is at different stages, and moreover it is covered over with a feigned, Pharisaic obedience. So it does not show itself fully and is often not fully recognized.

The enemy of the human race stirs up in us various sins and the desire for wrongdoing. He is cunning, crafty and cruel. He knows well the inclinations of each of us and skilfully attacks the weak spot, especially of a man who has no strong will.

There is nothing surprising in the devil's easily casting a man into pride. For our soul, as the image and likeness of God, is pure, bright and full of virtues. By its very nature the soul strives toward all that is good, noble and exalted. It wants always to be first, to attain perfection and blessedness as quickly as possible.

Tell me then, are these strivings of the soul not praiseworthy? Of course they are praiseworthy! But the poor, inexperienced soul does not even manage to work out that from its very first steps it is falling into the devil's crafty net. And the more it strives, in its inexperience, without a spiritual guide, without a spiritual father, toward first place and perfection (in the worldly sense), the more and more it becomes entangled in the snares of the evil one.

The point is that the evil power deceives a man by instilling in him a distorted teaching about blessedness. It offers him temporary, earthly “blessedness”; it helps him attain such blessedness and craftily hides from him that his salvation and true eternal blessedness stand in inverse proportion to earthly, swiftly passing “blessedness.” If everyone knew this and pondered it well within themselves in all seriousness, the evil power would prove powerless and could not instil the thought of pride in people even on account of their countless good deeds. Each would say to himself sincerely:

— What can I boast of? Only of weaknesses and failings. If there is anything good in me, it is all from God! — and by his humility he would drive away the evil power.

But the trouble is that a man listens with greater desire and attention to the voice of his enemy than to the voice of his Saviour. Narrow, thorny and hard is the way of the obedient and humble Christian; it demands sacrifice... It demands denial of oneself for the sake of God and neighbour. And on this path the devil tempts him unceasingly. Great strength of will is needed for a man not to give in to temptation, not to be afraid of trial and of the struggle with the evil power.

Broad, straight and easy is the way of the man (I do not call him a Christian) who lives by the devil's will, follows his passions and does what they demand. Outwardly it is strewn with violets and roses... but is it long?

Here before us is a typical example of pride. The evil power was its invisible companion and helped it to obtain from life everything a mortal man can obtain: youth, health, beauty, wealth, honour and fame, dizzying successes, abilities, talent — the invisible crafty companion laid it all out before him, if only to awaken in him the most ruinous passion — pride. The carefree man easily found himself on the broad way, delighted in illusory happiness, and without noticing it himself ended up at the edge of the abyss... He became unbearable to those around him, and they began to avoid him. They stopped taking an interest in his person, stopped admiring his abilities and talent, and then he came to hate everyone. Darkness took hold of his whole being, his mind grows dim, and he goes as far as madness. The meaning of life is lost; one way out remains — to end the torment, to forget everything... The devil rejoices! One more victim — a wretched suicide, who becomes his everlasting prize.

This is the sad end to which pride brings us. The answer is self-evident.

But the humble man comes to a blessed end: to eternal joy, to eternal blessedness. And, to speak frankly, is the way of an ordinary mortal Christian, not bound by a vow of public service to people, really so hard and difficult? For the humble man only the beginning of the way is painful; then the exercise of the virtues becomes a habit, and he no longer suffers from the devil's temptations; on the contrary, he rejoices at every victory won over himself. And when at last he is firmly established in this virtue, the evil power no longer dares to come near him, for humility conquers the demons and drives them out.

Then the devil tries to tempt him in sleep, but in this he is less successful, for a truly humble man is pleasant and dear to everyone.

What unearthly joy fills the soul of a humble man! What peace of soul! What real closeness to God and communion with Him!

Temptation is profitable for us. It tests, purifies and illumines the soul and shows us how strong our faith is. So in time of temptation do not give way to despair; you must fight it courageously and, above all, not admit the thought: “I am better than others.” On the contrary, with blood and sweat you must convince yourself: “I am the worst of all.” You must try to find in yourself what confirms this thought. Only never forget that however many temptations and troubles you meet on the path of life, you must always receive them as a test and not as abandonment by God. This happens to many Christians. It is for this very reason that they fall into despair, for they consider themselves rejected.

Testing is a path that leads us to the knowledge of God. Every misfortune, hardship and temptation shatters our soul. But to comfort the sorrowing, Christ says: “He shall call upon me, and I will hearken to him: I am with him in affliction; and I will deliver him, and glorify him. I will satisfy him with length of days, and shew him my salvation” (Ps. 90:15–16).

In time of temptation we come to know better and more clearly that it is not anyone else, but God Himself (and His All-holy Mother), who comforts our sorrow, heals our sicknesses, helps us in poverty, delivers us from death; we come to know also that He is the one source of our life, our salvation and our happiness. And so we should rejoice in every sorrow, and not murmur or give way to despair.

Sometimes the craftiness of the evil one's testing is astonishing. Do you remember how once you competed with your friend in your obedience? In what raptures you came to me then! You had outdone him! I felt at once that nothing good would come of it. My fears were confirmed: you were rejoicing then not as a sower of good seed, but as one who had beaten a rival.

Do you remember? How offended you were with me when I took you off that obedience altogether; that was long ago... Now you are different, but then such a method of spiritual upbringing was extremely necessary for you.

It is very important not to lose sight of the moment when pride springs up. Then I thought: if you do not wring pride's neck at once, afterwards it will be too late. Now, of course, you are grateful, but how you fought with me then!

Spiritual children react to no passion as they do to pride and vainglory. They take the exposure of this sin as a personal insult and grow angry; so one must call on discernment and use the experience of life — that is, without explaining the reason, lead them to obedience; one must remove the person from whatever rouses the passion of pride in him. In time the person understands what is happening and what causes it all.

One of my spiritual children told me a sad story about himself — how the evil power cast him into pride, and how his Guardian Angel helped him to recognize these assaults and overcome them.

At work he held a responsible post, and through it he had dealings with great scientists. Once a professor said:

— Now if science could discover what processes take place here and here, then such-and-such could be done, and colossal savings of electric power would be possible!

The man answered him thus:

— This is what happens... — and without thinking, as if in a dream, he talked and talked to him, while he himself was thinking with fear: so this is what I am!.. Who is speaking in me? And what am I saying? Now everyone will know that I am in the spiritual life... how will the management look at it? They will dismiss me!

He felt ashamed and afraid; he wanted to stop, but could not. He even said:

— You can test all this by experiment!.. You will see for yourselves!

And a month later, when his words proved true, they so exalted him that for five years he lived in constant fear for himself.

They came to him with the most difficult problems. His mind was so clear that at first he himself was amazed and afraid, but later he grew used to it, and after five years, without noticing it himself, he consented to a proud thought. He ascribed glory to his own mind, and from that time his fall began.

He began to look down on others; he marvelled at the “foolishness” of educated people and administrators, sometimes he even felt contempt... He no longer saw the image of God in a person; a sharpened sense of injustice arose in him; he spoke out sharply about the faults of those around him and was indignant at their “unworthy” actions. Against the background of “common” people he plainly felt his own superiority and constantly exalted himself over them.

In his mind people were divided into two categories — bad and good. “Bad” people he avoided and turned his back on. With the “good” he was affectionate, courteous, attentive, like a father or a brother. He cared for them, loved them, and received the same in return: among them, as they say, peace and quiet reigned, the grace of God; his mood was always uplifted, he was cheerful and felt well.

The disguised enemy was leading him further and further and pressing on toward victory. Pride grew in him with dizzying speed. He saw in himself a gift for instructing others, the possibility of saving them. And it was just then that something happened to him which cast him into a terrible, gloomy and hopeless despair. Suddenly the devil attacked him from both sides: he showed him the depth of his pride and stirred up carnal passions in him. For the next five years he tormented him with thoughts of blasphemy and fornication.

— I cannot tell you how all this would have ended, — the man finished his story, — if I had not met a spiritual father. I think I would not have escaped the torments of hell. But the merciful God, Who desires not the death of a sinner, took pity on me and showed me the spiritual path as the anchor of life. Save me from pride! Oh, how I fear this passion! For one can grow proud even with the thought: “I am humble!”

You see how God loves mankind! He allowed the man to fall into grave sins, but for him this is a means of humbling himself. Now, of course, he will be careful in judging himself.

I will tell you sincerely: the soul rejoices when it sees that the Lord is leading by such a path, that is, that the sinner comes to repentance through sorrow. The temptations he has endured protect a Christian like a strong wall from the enemy's new tests, and above all from overestimating himself. And that is the main thing. Some probably think: “How strict the spiritual father is!..” Here, for example, some spiritual children who had recently married came to me once. The husband complains in front of his wife and says:

— Father, there is no pleasing her; she is proud, capricious, grumbling, nothing suits her. She makes me do everything her way, takes no account of me, agrees with me about nothing, leads me into sin... What am I to do?

— Love your wife as your own soul, — I answer, — but shake her like a pear tree when she draws you away from virtue. Do this and that...

The woman was offended with me and probably thought: “What a spiritual father!.. What a man!..”

Sometimes we are like that too, so that afterwards everyone may be happy both on earth and in heaven.

I will tell you one more example from the life of my spiritual children — how the evil one sowed enmity between two girls, and how they overcame the devil by kissing their crosses.

At first these girls were great friends and got on well with each other. But the cunning and crafty enemy envied such a friendship and brought turmoil into their souls. One says to the other:

— You are proud!

And the other answers:

— And you are proud above all!

Naturally, enmity broke out. The colours faded; everything took on a different hue. They understood every word in the opposite sense. Each thought: “How one can be mistaken in a person! And I thought there was no one better than her in the world.”

They avoided each other as far as their common obedience allowed. Both wrote to me: “Father, what am I to do? I am perishing! Separate us.”

I ask one of them:

— Do you kiss your cross for your friend?

— No.

— Why not? Don't you know that you must kiss your cross for the one who is a burden to you?

— Forgive me, Father, I forgot.

— You see, — I tell her, — the evil power has taken advantage of your weakness and is spinning you round at its will. Kiss your cross for her five times morning and evening, pray and sincerely ask for her salvation. And she will do the same. In this way you will defeat the enemy, and peace and love will dwell between you again.

They began to kiss their crosses and to pray for one another. And then one of them says to me:

— I see how my friend is weeping, and I feel so sorry for her! I think: it is I who am tormenting her, I am worse than a beast... and I dissolve in tears myself... I look at her and weep, but I cannot say anything, I am ashamed. I think: she won't believe me, she'll think I'm a Pharisee. I keep silent. A week goes by, then another... We keep silent, sometimes we weep, especially in church, and we look at each other on the sly. Once I caught her glance. There was so much feeling in it, such love, that I could not hold back, and sobbing I threw my arms round her neck: “Sister, dear, I love you sincerely and deeply... I don't know myself what came over me. Believe me, I mean it with all my heart!”

She embraces me too and kisses me again and again, and then says to me with shining eyes: “I believe you, I believe you, sister! That is just why I was weeping — because I saw how you were suffering over me... How foolish we are — grown up, and worse than children!”

After this incident they loved each other still more. It is a joy to look at them. Always peaceful, caring, full of energy...

You see what power the life-giving Cross of God has! Pride, as they say, had only just been born, and they defeated it at its very root. They tormented themselves, but now they are well. If they had separated, the sin would have gone on living in them in secret and would have grown, and from time to time it would have tormented them. They would have thought ill of each other, and new sins would have been added to the old ones. But now they have convinced themselves in practice that if a person does not fight the evil power, he himself grows evil. Preserve us, O Lord!

See how profitable temptations are, and the struggle with them! Through them a person comes to know himself, and when he kisses the cross he sees the evil one's snares clearly too. So after every temptation he becomes more experienced. Only we must not forget to kiss the cross and pray for those who are a burden to us, and then all will be well; the evil power will be able to do us no harm.

Pride is the most dangerous and merciless of our invisible enemies. Together with every misfortune it gives birth to blasphemy against God, and casts the soul into despondency and despair.

People are often ashamed to reveal blasphemous thoughts to their spiritual father; they hide them and carry them in their hearts for whole decades. This casts many into despair and hopelessness. But this is precisely the Christian's mistake.

Despondency, and still more despair, is a sign of faint-heartedness, a sign that a person is inexperienced in the spiritual life, in spiritual warfare. It is a sign that a person does not know, or forgets, how merciful and loving the Lord is. God keep the soul from despondency! From there to despair is one step. Preserve us, O Lord!

Never forget that when the evil power is trying to tempt the soul, it sets before it the mercy and indulgence of God; but when a person has sinned, it frightens him with the severity and justice of the Lord, so as to keep him in despair and unceasing gloom. But you, know its cunning and do the opposite! When an opportunity to sin presents itself, at once remember the justice of God and the severity of the punishment; and when you have already sinned, repent quickly and remember the mercy of God, but do not give way to despair.

The courageous and the strong in spirit do not fall into despair in time of temptation, whatever it may be, but fight it courageously or wait patiently for its end, and only intensify their prayer. They read the lives of the saints and the teachings of the fathers more often, go to church more often, confess their sins and receive the Holy Mysteries of Christ. In that case the devil leaves the struggler alone, and the temptation passes. Do the same yourself; be sure that the Lord will forgive you every sin; only do not lose heart, but repent of them sincerely.

Are we Christians to be in despair? Each of us must ponder very well within himself the truth that if God's justice required a second crucifixion for the redemption of even one sinner, Christ would with joy and love let Himself be nailed to the cross again, to deliver that sinner from torment, and for his sake would endure the most cruel sufferings.

You think this is an exaggeration? No, my friend! Think for yourself... Imagine how uncomfortable we feel in the presence of a person dressed in revolting, filthy clothes and himself so dirty that it is dreadful to touch him. Even when he is some way off, he still gives us an unpleasant feeling... Even when someone close and dear to us (a spouse, say, a parent, a child) embraces and kisses us, and there is a dreadful smell from his mouth... How unpleasant! You hold your breath so as not to breathe in the bad smell. You very much want to get away from such a person quickly, to be free of his presence quickly, so that he does not spoil your mood, so that you can breathe freely without him.

Well then, before the all-holy and all-pure Lord we are dirtier still, and fouler-smelling, but He does not push us away; on the contrary, He Himself calls us to Himself for the closest and most intimate communion, offering Himself to us in the form of the Most Holy Mysteries; He forgives the sins we confess; He cleanses the soul and makes it white; and the sins that remain unrepented on the soul stink dreadfully, and the Lord endures... Yes, yes, He suffers, He chokes, but... He endures.

Every sin, like a nail, like a hammer blow, nails Him to the cross again and increases His suffering, but He endures; He loves us... He waits for the moment when His self-sacrifice will at last move our soul to love in return... or even just to sympathy; if not out of love, then at least out of pity for Him, let us stop His suffering through our sins — for our own good, for our own salvation.

We anger Him, we crucify Him, and He waits patiently for us at last to come to our senses! All our life we torment Him, and He is preparing for us the bliss of paradise in the Kingdom, waiting for us to amend even at the end of our life...

What more can be said? What can be added to this bright, life-giving picture?

Rejoice that for the sake of your humility the Lord allowed you to taste the bitterness of sins, and will not remember them if after repentance you do not go back to them. Now, made wise by the experience of life, you thank the Lord with great feeling and love for freeing you from sin, and the remembrance of sin and death will keep in you an unceasing, saving sense of humility and obedience.

Temptations are very profitable for us, so that we may attain perfection in the virtues.

Our Saviour Jesus Christ too endured temptation from the devil in the desert, to show us an example of how to meet temptations and overcome them. The Saviour first went down into hell, and only after that ascended into heaven; so too the God-fearing soul first sinks into the hell of temptations, and then ascends into heavenly glory. The soul cannot reach the Kingdom of Heaven until it has overcome the world, the flesh and the devil.

As long as passion (sin) is alive in a person, he cannot be free of temptations. His heart is like a cauldron in which an evil liquid is boiling. Now envy is brewing in it, now jealousy, and sometimes aversion or pride takes hold of a person and torments him. With such a compliant sinner the demons dwell together! And they have little work to do... But they find it hard with the peaceful and the untroubled: all their wiles are seen through, such people do not take their hook and bait; more than that, they teach others how to fight the evil powers. Oh, how the demons take revenge on them!.. They vomit all their hatred upon the righteous.

They themselves are afraid to come near the righteous, and so by every wile, cunning and deceit they try to make war on them, even through acquaintances, friends and relatives. If a person is not watchful, is scattered and careless, and does not heed the voice of God and of his own conscience, he easily falls into the devil's net and rises up against the righteous man. The persecuted righteous man could call down heavenly punishment in prayer upon the ungodly man who has fallen into Satan's claws, but... as a true follower and disciple of Christ, he loves his persecutor, prays for his salvation, endures and waits for the sinner at last to see through the devil's wiles, to turn to the Lord in repentance and to ask him for forgiveness. This is the strength of the righteous man: he loves... endures... waits. That is why he is righteous; that is why the Lord helps him in everything and grants him grace and special gifts of the Holy Spirit, for he walks in the footsteps of Christ the Saviour.

So you too, my friend, imitate our Lord Jesus Christ. Love everyone, bear with everyone, do good to everyone, and wait for the temptation to end; and above all, live not by your own will but by God's, and then very soon you will come to know His mercy.

I confess to you, my friend, that some passages in your letter caught my attention. I hope you understand what I mean.

I want to warn you: do not imagine that you have achieved some success. Such thoughts are very dangerous.

Do not forget that when a humble person's virtues multiply, the holy Angels rejoice, for the virtues lead to salvation. But when a vainglorious person's virtues multiply, the demons rejoice, for vainglory quickly grows into pride and destroys the soul. And for you, a person with such a talent, this danger is doubled. You will not notice yourself how pride begins to grow. And a gifted proud man finds it harder than anyone else to fight against haughtiness. He allows himself the thought that he is accused of pride out of envy, and he does not amend.

In fact, all gifted and intelligent people, like the powerful and rich of this world, should not be proud but should be afraid to stand before God without having multiplied their talents. “And that servant, which knew his lord's will, and prepared not himself, neither did according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes. But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more” (Luke 12:47–48). I advise you, my friend, to hold your breath, so as to forget the whole world and yourself too, and listen attentively to the soft, tender and gentle voice of our Saviour, Who says to everyone with love: humble yourself as I humbled Myself; love everyone, even your enemies, as I loved; do good, be merciful, as I am; imitate Me and follow Me.

Yes, my friend, if you wish, you can hear the voice of the Lord, Who converses secretly with the soul, if you exercise yourself in this unceasingly. You already have some experience and a certain success, which sincerely gladdens me. May the Lord help you!

Of course it is hard to live so far from the elder and in such conditions, but you see — the Lord Himself is helping you! Your faith will be strengthened by this too. And do not attach such serious importance to your thoughts (I mean the blasphemous thoughts). After all, you answer them: “I do not want this!” You pay no attention to them, you do not examine them — so there is no sin. They pester you and put you in an awkward position by it, but do not be ashamed and do not give way to despair. Remember that they can trouble the soul to the last minutes of life, but if you do not relax your attention, they will do you no harm.

Take them as the barking of dogs: they will bark and leave you alone. And in general I want to tell you always to be watchful... Do you remember how long the devil troubled one of our friends with vainglorious thoughts? In the end he did get his way — he planted self-satisfied thoughts in him, and then cast him into despair.

Wake up! The evil power does not sleep; keep a watchful eye on yourself, and when thoughts come crowding in, address them thus:

— All I know well is that I know nothing, have nothing, can do nothing but evil. Everything good in me is from God alone; to Him be glory!

In this way you will overcome yourself and be humbled.

Editor: Priest Theodore Gignadze. Translated (into Georgian) by Khatuna Rakviashvili